3 Bold Lessons from the 40 Over 40 Project: How to Reconnect to Yourself
It’s easy to get swept up by the daily stresses of life; our work, family, goals, friends, and even our daily routines are prioritized over the relationship we have with ourselves. Instead of continuously prioritizing the needs and desires of others over our own, we need to take a step back, and ask “How can I reconnect with myself?”.
This same question served as the foundation for Jenny, a recent client who modeled for my 40 over 40 project.
During her path to achieving self-love and regaining her identity, Jenny decided to celebrate and express herself through photography. I was honored to photograph Jenny as she embarked on a self-discovery journey to reconnect with herself.
As a photographer and woman who also learned the importance of valuing self-love, I use photography as a tool to awaken the confidence, power, and strength we all possess by creating a safe place that values freedom of expression. And the 40 over 40 photoshoots are no exception. They embody the same intention to guide women to feel heard, seen, and beautiful.
To learn the three bold lessons Jenny realized as she reconnected to herself, keep reading to begin your self-discovery journey.
Reconnect to yourself by honoring who you are
The 40 over 40 project began with the mission of highlighting the fierce beauty we all have no matter our age. Instead of criticizing myself for getting older, I decided to use my talents to provide an opportunity for women to rediscover their power and grace.
This project emphasises the importance of not allowing societal expectations to determine our value based on our perceived timeline. We are powerful, beautiful, and unstoppable forces at every age, and we deserve to be celebrated.
Jenny, 46, who like a lot of us has grappled with her own self-identity. Jenny rediscovered her confidence and self-worth during our photoshoot. And, that is really our purpose here, to celebrate lives and build confidence. We do that by providing a day to be pampered; to have professional hair and makeup, multiple outfit changes to celebrate all the different facets of who you are. Jenny showed up ready to give herself a day of self-empowerment.
Her collection of photos are a tangible reminder of who she is. And when she looks at her photographs she can recreate the self-love she felt during her shoot and honor the woman she feels inside.
After her shoot, Jenny responded to a few questions to give other women insights into reconnecting with themselves at any age. The purpose is to empower others with our stories.
What would you tell your 14-year-old self or 21-year-old self?
As we get older and experience ups and downs, we all formulate a collection of lessons we would pass down to our younger selves. I know I have quite a few I would love to tell my younger self. I would advise her to slow down, appreciate the present moment and that her purpose would appear one day.
These lessons are especially important to reflect on when we feel we have lost who we are. When cultivating self-love and reconnecting to ourselves, we need to make space to forgive our younger self that still lives within. This act of forgiveness requires letting go of our past, allowing ourselves to make mistakes without judgment, and honoring who we are.
Jenny provided advice to her younger self that acknowledges the reminders we all need to hear even at age 40 and beyond;
"Be prepared girl, you have no idea what is around the corner! Pray. Be bold. Honor who you are. Don't take the easy way. Try. Try hard! Learn. Forgive. Say I'm sorry and mean it. Listen. Give. Be a good friend”.
What was your greatest challenge and how did you overcome it?
It doesn’t matter what the age is, we never truly stop growing. As we age, we become better versions of ourselves, and through obstacles and failures, we learn to value life’s challenges and grow through them. Jenny shared her greatest challenge - becoming a stepmother. The moment when it stopped being about only her, and she started trying to be something for her new family, she realized she needed to honor herself and the woman within so that she could show up authentically and with more love.
During a chapter of her life where she strived to be the best for everyone, Jenny lost herself along the way and realized the importance of reconnecting to who she is. Her vulnerability to share her hardships reveals the inner resilience we all have to overcome failures and persevere.
“Getting married at the age of 42 and becoming a step-parent has been the biggest challenge so far. By the time you reach the age of 40, you think you've finally settled into 'who you are'. Living a great life. Traveling. Moving and trying out new cities. Having amazing and beautiful experiences. Learning and growing through the years.
Surrendering yourself to God's plan and the man he put before you is life-altering though.
Especially when this man comes with four children. It's no longer about you...
Unbeknownst to me, I was living a very self-centered life. In a matter of months, I was a 'wife' and 'step-mother'.
Even with beautifully blended family counseling, no one can really prepare you for what that life looks like. New house, new rules, new role, new everything. I gave myself over to the journey 100%. And lost 40 years.
I forgot who I was, trying to be something for the new people in my life. That can be a beautiful journey. It can be humbling. It can also be devastating. The last year or more has been the journey to reconnect with me again. In a new way. To see the girl still hiding inside.
Not only do I get to be a wife and stepmother, but I have also found new ways to honor myself. To honor Jenny”.
When was the last time you cried?
When we undervalue our worth, we often crave an experience that brings us back to ourselves. When we are seeking something, often our inner child will whisper to us and provide steps to reconnect to ourselves.
I have had the privilege of photographing Jenny twice. Once last year and again for this project a few months ago. Our first photoshoot allowed Jenny to reconnect to who she is.
It created a vulnerable moment to see herself as the woman she has always been; confident, beautiful, empowering, and resilient. She saw the little girl who briefly lost her way, the grief she endured, and many influential parts of herself that reminded her of her continuous value and self-worth.
“I cried when I saw the images from my first photo session with Judith. My place in life at that time, I had forgotten who I was. That was my purpose for the session. Almost like self-care.
At that moment though, seeing those images, I wept. It was a variety of emotions. Tears for the moody and lost girl inside that didn't want to smile. Tears for the stunning woman, dreamily staring out the window. Tears for the champagne toast to a recently passed friend. Tears for the strong woman, getting to have a child-like moment by spinning in a chair.
I saw so much that day. Those tears were beautiful. I still become emotional when I remember that day”.
Celebrate your power and grace
While I captured the embodiment of this reconnection, Jenny showed up for herself. She made the empowering decision to love the woman she is. Capturing this moment of self-love was magical and reminded me of why I created the 40 over 40 project.
We all deserve the same reconnection Jenny gave to herself on set that day. We deserve to feel beautiful, to feel heard, seen, and valued for who we are. We deserve to give ourselves a life-changing gift that provides the strength and momentum to celebrate the years to come.
If you want to join the same self-discovery journey Jenny embraced, I would love to celebrate your grace, beauty, and power. I’m still searching for women over 40 who want to express themselves through a self-love portrait session.
It’s my honor to empower each woman to realize and honor the confidence they all possess. It is a moment of alignment when you observe your own power and grace staring at you. It shows you that it has been inside you all along. You never lost it. It was only hidden briefly behind the struggles we as humans all experience.
If you’ve grappled with your identity, and need a reminder of the limitless potential you hold, let me be the guide to help you.
With a portrait session, you have a glamour shoot tailored to pampering yourself with styling, makeup, and outfit changes that reminds you that the most important person in your life is you.
Even at age 40 and beyond, we all need to reconnect with ourselves and tell ourselves, "I love you for who you are".
I can’t wait to help you on your self-discovery journey and celebrate you!
The development of the 40 over 40 project will end early next year with a celebratory achievement of a book and party. To join the conversation or to be photographed, please learn how you can reconnect to yourself at any age.
With love,
Judith
