3 Empowering Lessons from the 40 Over 40 Project: How to Accept Yourself
It's always fun to grow, improve, and become a better version of yourself. But it's also important to remember that we are imperfect humans trying our best and deserve a little forgiveness. We often forget this and hold ourselves to extremely high standards criticizing ourselves for every mistake. Yet, beyond the criticism, are parts of yourself that deserve to be celebrated, admired, and of course, accepted.
Self-acceptance is the key theme of the interview I had with Colleen, an inspiring woman who participated in my 40-over-40 project designed to empower women to love themselves at any age. Learning to accept yourself for who you are and not what you wish yourself to be is a liberating choice that creates inner peace and awakens confidence. To learn the lessons and advice Colleen acquired in her life that led to her self-acceptance, keep reading to begin your journey to valuing and accepting the person you are.
What would you tell your 14-year-old self or 21-year-old self?
When I photograph my clients, I photograph to unleash a ripple effect of self-acceptance that carries beyond the studio. I believe when they let go, receive self-care, and see the final product, they will see who they are and not focus on the limiting beliefs or insecurities with what they wish they could change. My session with Colleen created a mutual exchange of empowerment, where she also taught me a few lessons beyond the camera. She reminded me of the importance of slowing down, appreciating the present moment, and reconnecting to my inner child;
"I would tell my younger self to slow down! I would explain to myself that I have plenty of time to make the big life decisions, enjoy being young, and not be so serious about everything".
Colleen’s answer reminded me of a quote I once heard, “Don‘t waste your youth growing up”. When we’re young adults, we are so eager to be branded as wise, mature, and ready to be the master of our own lives that we forget our childhood ambitions far too early. We become obsessed and worried about protecting our futures that we forget to enjoy our lives and the little moments that often go overlooked.
This tunnel vision further disrupts our ability to have fun, play, and connect to our inner children. Your inner child is your navigator and reminder to approach situations with a carefree sense of self and not become lost by the pressures of adulthood. It is there to also teach you to reconnect to who you are and accept all that you are, the good, the not-so-good, and the great.
What is the best advice you have been given?
By anchoring to the present moment and connecting to our inner child, another important lesson unfolds; setting boundaries and letting go. These lessons, while they help us build self-acceptance, are especially difficult to manage within close family ties.
As parents, we tend to believe we know best, but knowing best can take the form of not allowing children to make mistakes, fail, and learn. As a part of Colleen's self-acceptance journey, her grandmother expressed the importance of respecting boundaries and knowing when to let go within the family dynamic;
“Just before I got married, almost 40 years ago, my mother told me what a wonderful mother-in-law my grandmother had been to her. She never interfered in the lives of her adult children and gave advice only when asked. My mother was letting me go, acknowledging that I was an adult and on my own. She was the same way with her adult children and our spouses. I am following that advice now with my grown kids, and it has served me well”.
Colleen’s answer to this question stresses the importance of how enforcing and respecting boundaries helps us build greater self-worth. When we set boundaries, we create clear guidelines that protect our mental health and wellbeing. Even as children, knowing how to enforce these guidelines can be helpful as we establish our identity and learn to show compassion and love for the person we are becoming.
What do you love about being a woman?
What I admired most about Colleen was her authenticity. She knew who she was and wasn’t afraid to express that even on set. And this authenticity shined through every response in her 40-over-40 interview, especially what she loved about being a woman;
“Being a woman is the greatest thing ever. We have the freedom to be compassionate, emotional, rational, and strong all at the same time. We are the glue that holds our families together. We can also have great relationships with other women. Many men do not feel as free to do the same”.
Colleen believed our emotional nature, while often scrutinized by society, is also the very thing that makes us so powerful.
Our biological power makes us strong-willed, intuitive, emotionally intelligent, and rational. We are a well-balanced mix of both worlds; logical reasoning and emotional intelligence. Colleen admired this and saw it as the glue that holds everything together.
In our families, we bring life and maintain it through our balance. And through our innate desire to uplift and empower other women, we form great bonds and create a thriving community. Colleen reminded me of what makes us special, magnetic, and influential - all traits that deserve to be appreciated and accepted. Celebrating the woman you are is also an empowering tip that helps you strengthen your relationship with yourself.
Ready to build your self-acceptance?
Connecting to the present moment, setting boundaries, and appreciating who you are, are the 3 lessons Colleen and her 40-over-40 journey provided. Her photoshoot allowed Colleen to see herself, reflect on her life, and realize the power she holds.
As a photographer, I love creating a space for women to let go, reconnect (Another lesson 40-over-40) and love the person they are. Each time I meet a woman like Colleen or another client for the 40-over-40 project, I remember how lucky I am to photograph inspiring women who show me, through cultivating their self-love, what it is to love myself, reconnect to myself, and accept myself.
It also provides opportunities to show how my work can impact you and your life. With the 40-over-40 project, you can have a glamour shoot that captures more than a memento of your beauty and strength.
A day dedicated to you through pampering, make-up, styling, and encouragement will help you break out against the cookie-cutter molds society has placed on women and allow you to accept and love yourself through it all. A portrait provides more than a tangible memory - it encourages you to remember who you are; a beautiful, captivating, and incredible woman.
If you’re interested in this self-care experience, please schedule a free consultation to start the process. Also, I'd love to know what lessons you’ve learned through your past, carried through your present, and will pass down to future generations? Comment below to help others accept the woman they are.
With love,
Judith