How To Be Your Authentic Self And Embrace Who You Are

Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions to please others? Like you're hiding your true self? If so, you're not alone. Many of us feel the pressure to conform. Whether it’s at work, in our relationships, or in our everyday life, removing the facade and embracing ourselves, flaws and all can feel scary. But learning how to be your authentic self is key to greater self-love, self-acceptance and a more fulfilling life. So, in this article, we’ll learn from a woman, Alisha Huner who participated in the Beyond 40 Revolution, and discovered how to embrace the true beautiful force she is. I'm honored to share her wisdom with you. 

What does being authentic mean?

In recent years, authenticity has become a highly sought-after quality. Many of us strive to be authentic and envy those who embody it. But what does it actually mean to be authentic? Researchers have identified four key components:

• Experience: Being aware of your environment and present state.

• Understanding: Reflecting on how your current experience aligns with your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

• Judgment: Assessing whether your present experience aligns with your core values.

• Decision: Making choices that align with your core values and psychological needs.

At its core, authenticity is about awareness - showing up or not showing up based on how you feel or think in the current moment and how your environment affects your true self even if you're still discovering who that true self is, embodies authenticity. 

How To Be Your Authentic Self: 5 Tips to Help

1. Welcome the journey 

Becoming authentic isn't an instant transformation like social media might suggest. It requires navigating through darkness to find the light and embracing trials and tribulations with an open heart to discover the magic on the other side. 

Through the pain and insecurities, Alisha embraced her beautiful light, and that light made her glow internally and externally. 

But the most inspiring part of that glow was her mission to uplift others around her - to be a beacon of expanding love and positivity for the world. 

Therefore, when I asked her, “What personality trait do you love about yourself?”, her answer discussed her journey of authenticity, highlighting how it’s ever-evolving as she peels back the layers of her expansion…

“I love to compliment women!  Too many of us get stuck on our flaws and get so focused on the things we don't like or don't love.  I want people to know they are beautiful, just as they are!  I want them to see what we see in them.  

For a long time I struggled to look in the mirror to see beauty, my husband would tell me, but I couldn't truly accept his compliment.  It has taken me half a lifetime to look in the mirror and see someone beautiful.  

But beauty under all this make-up and glam is far more appealing than beauty that is only skin deep, it radiates to everyone around us, it gives us boldness and courage and belief that we are worth it!  

I want women to know they have deep and valuable worth as a woman!”

You might have aspects of yourself that you don't like, and that's okay. Or you may have regrets or feel like you haven't fully tapped into your potential. But the desire to look within and make positive changes is the path to growth, self-love, and balance. 

Learning how to face your fears, striving to understand yourself more, and becoming more forgiving of yourself are the pillars of authenticity.

This is what Alisha has done and continues to do - welcome self-transformation. 

2. Seek internal validation 

One of the hardest lessons I've learned, and perhaps you can relate, is to trust myself and seek internal validation rather than external. 

This skill isn't easy to adopt, especially for women who are often taught to second-guess themselves and doubt their choices. But we have the power to change the narrative. By learning to trust and listen to our intuition, we can confidently guide ourselves forward.

To start, pick one choice a day and test yourself to find the solution without asking anyone’s help. This may be challenging at first. But it's entirely worth it when you realize you already possess everything within you to succeed and live the life you deserve.

When I asked Alisha, “What is life teaching you in this season?”, her response revealed the true reason she did this photoshoot—her why…

“Embrace my flaws!  I am trying to see myself in a new light through the lens I want my daughter to see herself.  Not doubting your beauty or your strength as a woman, but acknowledging the God who created us and loving myself just as I am.  

I wanted to do this photo shoot because I wanted to see myself, I needed to see myself, as others see me.  

I need that part that is deep in my heart, the part that I doubt, to come to light.  I want to know that I AM BEAUTIFUL and I am a woman who is deeply loved by her family, JUST AS I AM!”

Alisha embarked on this journey to strengthen her internal validation and see herself as others do—how I see her: beautiful, strong, brave, kind, and loving. 

Her decision to do this photoshoot teaches us that accepting who we are right now, in this very moment, and the truth that we will continue to struggle is the key to living a more authentic life. 

There are days we may love our reflections and others where we pick apart everything (accept and celebrate your body with a boudoir shoot), but it's the self-awareness that we are works in progress that lead to true self-embodiment. 

3. Define your values…and live by them

This wouldn’t be an article about how to be your authentic self if I didn’t mention the importance of values. 

Authenticity is deeply rooted in defining what matters most to you and living by those principles. 

Ask yourself: What is most important to you? What beliefs do you hold most dear? How can you commit to living a life in alignment with your values and beliefs? This process will help you uncover what is non-negotiable and act as a compass, reconnecting you with your highest self. 

Remember, authenticity also means self-awareness. Even after defining your values, you may still find yourself in situations that challenge them. Acknowledging this, is part of being authentic, as it shows you're learning how your environment affects who you are and what you want. 

Give yourself the space to grow, make mistakes, and evolve—this is the foundation of stepping into your true self.

4. Respond vs react 

I came across a beautiful quote that encapsulates a crucial aspect of becoming authentic: emotional intelligence.

“When you get reactive, get curious. You have a wound that is asking to be healed” - Mark Groves

Without awareness of our triggers—the sensory stimuli that provoke certain reactions—it's easy to fall into a blame cycle, thinking, “It’s their fault" or “They hurt my feelings, so they deserve it.”

However, if we take a moment to look inward, it presents a valuable opportunity for self-reflection. By understanding how a situation connects to a deeper part of ourselves, we gain insight into our environment's significant role in our journey to becoming our highest self.

Next time you feel reactive…

• Retreat to a quiet place

• Take a few mindful breaths, 

• And ask yourself, “Why did I react this way?”, “Is my reaction revealing something related to my healing that needs attention?”, and “What do I need right now to feel better and calm my stress response?”

These questions can enhance your perspective, allowing you to see life as a series of opportunities for self-exploration.

5. Live mindfully with gratitude 

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss.

Often, we get caught in cycles of "what-if" scenarios or regrets about the past instead of anchoring ourselves in the here and now. Alisha’s favorite quote teaches us the importance of the present moment and the fleeting impermanence. 

Being chained to the past or worrying about the future prevents us from enjoying the small moments and lessons that create the fabric of our lives. It's through gratitude and finding lessons within the struggle that we're able to strengthen our self-awareness, resilience, and resolve, thereby making space to step into our highest selves. 

So, if you find yourself stuck in an endless loop of thoughts or concerns about a past situation, take a page from Alisha's book and find the positives. Reframe your perspective and see each moment as a building block for growth and gratitude. 

Alisha continued to embark her wisdom by saying…

“Life changes so quickly.  We are young and ambitious, starting a career and a family, and then all of the sudden our children graduate, we sell our business and become empty-nesters, leaving us wondering who we are?  Our discussions with our girlfriends turn to 'how to best roll back the clock on our aging selves'.  

Instead of looking at life in the past and wishing we could relive those fond memories, we need to reach forward to the life that is in front of us and thank God for the gifts that he has given us.  

We now have the gift of wisdom, of living a life full of hard choices which has allowed us to stand on our own two feet.  A life of loss and love and survival.  

And when I look back in 10 years, at this woman pictured here today, I want to smile and thank God for the opportunity, but move forward to the life he has called me to:  being a confident woman, who knows who she is and is better for the journey she has endured.” 

In her answer, she also highlighted the fundamental truth that experiencing love, loss, and survival is the essence of life. Happiness and suffering are intertwined—the embodiment of yin and yang. 

But by acknowledging and accepting life’s ups and downs, we can make space for unconditional self-love and true authenticity.

Conclusion

I hope Alisha's journey and the tips on how to be authentic have inspired you to connect more deeply with your highest self. Like many women, Alisha struggled with self-worth. However, stepping out of her comfort zone for a photo shoot, she discovered and embraced parts of herself she hadn't seen before, reconnecting to her innate beauty, strength, and power.

This journey is within your reach, too. 

One photoshoot can spark a positive ripple effect, helping you confront your fears and welcome the magnetic force of your true worth. If you're ready, I'm here to support you. In my studio, you'll enjoy a day dedicated to celebrating your authentic self with personalized support, styling, pampering, and more. Book a FREE consultation and let's discover the magic together.

Also, if you want to join the Beyond 40 Revolution: Volume 2 and stand alongside empowering women like Alisha, embracing your beauty at any age, apply now. Give yourself the gift of a photoshoot dedicated to uplifting your unique essence.